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Man Up

by Preston Hull

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1.
I was eighteen at the starting gate I was thinking epic thoughts I’d bend the world with my hands So I set out armed with wisdom from a page-a-day I’d bought and watched as nothing went as planned. and I used to wonder what the hell I could’ve done but now I know it’s eighteen it makes you dumb. I spent a year inside digging through my head and I didn’t like what I didn’t find but I didn’t like my choices so I chose to get older instead and I have never changed my mind. I know I used to think that I would never see the sun but now I know that twenty’s still pretty young. I met a girl and our lives fit like the teeth of a zipper and we used to take turns being strong but you know how sometimes that little pulley-thingy breaks and the goddamn sides won’t stay together? well, the cynics say that nothing lasts for long and I used to wonder what the hell it was I’d done but we all know that 21 is dumb. seems all I’ve learned is one year’s troubles make the last one’s dumb I can’t wait ’til this year’s trouble’s done no I can’t wait ’til 24 is dumb. seems all I’ve learned is one year’s troubles make the last one’s dumb I can’t wait ’til this year’s trouble’s done no I can’t wait ’til 24 is dumb.
2.
Little Spark 04:36
When she walked across the city wearing nothing but my hoodie she became my summer plans. and I think she might be crazy but not the jealous kind of crazy the kind whose eyes light up at the chance. and on the forms her ethnicity is “other” I’ve never had an “other.” virtue or vice add ‘em up she’s 110 pounds of everything I love CHORUS little spark floats in on the breeze she lands in my lap and she’s just what I need she doesn’t care when the sun comes up she doesn’t care if they’re watching us little spark she glows as she please she light up the town leads me dizzy through the streets no she doesn’t care when the sun comes up she doesn’t care if they’re watching us she doesn’t care if we just lay around and touch. so we go to her apartment on top of new york city and then some chic new place up town and I probly don’t belong here but I’d like to learn the language and she’s buying everyone another round amid ‘em all she sits there grinning and she orders up some spicy fucking drink I’ll end up finishing the social storm she stirs up I just gotta ride it out until it’s just the two of us CHORUS she crawls across the sheets like she’s about to pounce her eyes ignited like to sable suns and I can feel her breathing as I softly offer up my body slowly overwhelming me she she leans in close and then she beats on my chest like a drum she always ruins every moment and it’s really kinda fun CHORUS
3.
There’s twenty million three-fourths naked college girls upstairs and they’re all wasted and I’m not much better off myself and they’re all trying to get laid that’s why you throw this kind of thing but I have a headache and tonight I will abstain yeah sometimes I surprise myself. CHORUS I think I love you more than I knew I think I love you more than I knew I think I I think I do I think I love you more than I knew I think I love you more than I knew I think I do. there’s thirty million fresh distractions daily downtown flesh attractions baby but it’s like somebody flipped a switch and no I don’t know what you did to get me in the state I’m in but I have a headache and I want you to raise my kids no I don’t understand myself. CHORUS I tried to prove that it wasn’t true but I’m starting to lose. it’s one girl in a million gets me in this mood and keeps me in it daily I think about you daily. when I think about the future you’re in every fuckin’ scene and I don’t need no one to tell me what that means CHORUS
4.
I’d be lying if I said it’s not cold tonight and I’d be lying if I told you I mind it’s fall in this city and I don’t see nothing I recognize well the street’s kinda wet from the rain we just had and it’s shining all red in the light the sign says “don’t walk” but I don’t think anyone minds tell me are there always so many people in love? do they only come out when I’m trying to forget about us? I played the cigarette king on a park-bench throne and God knows a king’s on his own come on even those bums got their arms ’round each other refrain I think I’m turning back, turning round I think I stumbled on the wrong side of town the odd man out under the boiling clouds I’m bouncing all through the crowd a pinball on his fall, on his lonely way down the static sound of the traffic on the slick streets in the background well the rain’s coming back and there’s nowhere to hide but I’d be lying if I told you I tried they’re huddled in doorways they’re sharing umbrellas and everything
5.
I found a sweet blue afternoon life is good and I’ve got proof: there’s a garden on a roof there’s a girl, I think she’s cute I was tryin’ to hate this city, too. there’s church bells ringin’ hallelu while a siren slices through whoo-ooh whoo-ooh. I cross the street no matter what I smile at the friendly bum but he never smiles back I guess it’s personal. PRE-CHORUS I never really followed baseball much but fuck the Yankees anyway this many people can’t be wrong about anything wha-oh CHORUS so this is the city so this is the sound this is where they say that everything goes down so this is the city a city in spring it ain’t home but it’s a lot of other things hey winter: that’s been quite enough the sun is out, let’s take a walk the public garden’s filling up Zeus used to rule all the men and gods now the pigeons shit on him in the park while little asian kids play tag dude plays the banjo on a bench there’s couples covering the grass beside the signs that say “please keep off of the grass” PRE-CHORUS CHORUS behind the piano shop this alley is as sunny as it’s ever been a bird catches a draft of some air from another century swoops to the fire escape to listen in wha-oh CHORUS
6.
when something creepy is going down on the internet when somewhere there’s a boy that thinks that “no” means “yes” in real life or on the TV when someone sputters he didn’t know she wasn’t old enough or when a working girl gets roughed up we all know who’s first on the scene CHORUS Mariska Hargitay your name is kinda fun to say your dad was Mr. Universe whoa-oh your mom was a babe and look what they made! Mariska Hargitay everybody’s glad you came you tried out to be Monica on Friends but they turned you away look at you today! I know the world is better off with you this way there’s someone creepy on the train opening his coat and is it murder if she chose to choke? yeah talk about a dirty job but when she’s with the victims still her eyes can say “I understand” then turn around and say “I’ll kick your ass” when she needs to let you know who’s boss CHORUS in the criminal justice system sexually based offenses are considered to be especially screwed up in New York City, the extremely foxy detective who deals with this nonsense is known as CHORUS Mariska please won’t you slap some cuffs on me CHORUS
7.
sometimes I forget that no one’s keeping score I do this to myself. sometimes I forget that there’s now and little more I must hurt for something else my head and me we make long lists of maybes try to know ahead of me I hear there’s a forest but I only see trees and they’re losing all their leaves you know I only feel this bad ’cause it’s so easy. CHORUS it’s like mouth to mouth with foreign tongues I never felt so young and vulnerable it’s like fingers screeching down the walls I try and stop the fall sometimes I forget oh sometimes I forget sometimes I forget to give credit where it’s due to step outside my shoes sometimes I forget that I don’t make the rules that I’m a sucker too your fellow fool. my head and me we make long lists of maybes try to throw my fear in front of me and I get confused between what’s now and what’s eternity it’s an awful waste of energy you know I only feel this bad ’cause it’s so easy. it’s like mouth to mouth with foreign tongues I never felt so young and dumb it’s like fingers screeching down the walls I try and stop the fall oh fuck. what I’d do to be zen buddhist what I’d do for high cathedral just for me but there’s a war inside I just wave white flags for peace. CHORUS I chip away at the ground beneath my feet the slightest semblance of peace you know I only feel this bad ’cause it’s so easy
8.
Arsla 05:26
story of a yellow white boy and a blue brown girl up against the odds, us against the world but this was no Verona no story near as noble as the west side of New York if I dug a hole in my back yard and I dug and I dug and I didn’t burn up I would come up somewhere squinting in the glare near the house where she comes from. CHORUS Arsla I never heard a name like hers before she’s got the sweetest accent in her voice Arsla I never seen dark eyes as bright before she likes our infrastructure and our boys, but Arsla what would they say back home? not with a bang, but with a whimper we finished one sweet sweet girl didn’t know what hit her and the boy who played decider had only one desire to stick his face down in the sand. CHORUS you know what they’d say back home. cause on American streets we’d pass her people monochrome cliques spittin’ passing needles she would never translate I would read it on her face I don’t know what they were thinking they were not the ones betrayed. CHORUS I’d like to blame the world I’d like to blame the world I’d like to blame the world
9.
she was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma and yours and she made better babies than all the other ladies in the cave bore she c-c-couldn’t have known no she couldn’t have dreamed just how big her living legacy would be she couldn’t know she’d be the angel at the top of our tree she couldn’t know that she she coudln’t know that she’d give me my mitochondria CHORUS she’s still alive in our veins there was no fall from grace they oughta make a holiday she was more than just a link in the chain she gave me my mitochondria m-m-my mitochondrial eve she was our great-great-great-great grandma and you know we should be grateful but we just sit at her Thanksgiving always bickering and bitching at the kids’ table she c-c-couldn’t have known if she did she probly couldn’t have done it yeah that’s just too much weight for anyone to walk around luggin’ but the future takes your shit and goes runnin’ she couldn’t know that she she couldn’t know that she’d give me my mitochondria CHORUS (she couldn’t know that she she couldn’t know that she’d give me) she wasn’t the queen of the pleistocene no she couldn’t have known when she was getting laid that she was making nations the first waves in today’s sea of faces but that’s fucking fate kids. (she couldn’t know that she she couldn’t know that she’d give me … my mitochondria) CHORUS x2
10.
I think it’s time I go no they don’t need me here there’s plenty of fresh faces coming every single year this city is a light but I am not a moth no it’s time my precious cubic feet were auctioned off I think it’s time I said goodbye to Boston I think it’s time I said goodbye to Boston. I’d seem the perfect type I’ll be a student all my life and I’ve got a car, a kind of car that all the rich men like but I’ve been sleeping fine there’s nothing on my mind and you know that’s how I realized that it’s about that time. I think it’s time I said goodbye to Boston I think it’s time I said goodbye to Boston. I’m not rich enough to chair the board but I’m not poor enough to sweep the floors though I’m ashamed to say I’ve used the servants’ door. let the yuppies have their playground let New England have its crown let all the pretty families live just enough outside of town. let the others keep their reasons I won’t need ‘em where I’m going at least now the trouble with this river won’t be the way I’m rowing. I think it’s time I said goodbye to Boston I think it’s time I said goodbye to Boston.
11.
the kind of heat that rides piggyback on you a thick bright afternoon the kind where all four windows down ain’t quite enough. up through the miles of orchards in their rows on the road that sneaks along the creeks where the sign says “beer and lunch” but they’re ten years closed. I breathe in deep: just cut grass and gasoline. PRE-CHORUS I left the fold but I forgot the goal now I’m counting up the things that I still know leave my city skin by the side of the road I was born in a hot green valley the kind of valley where apples grow. the birds are trying, the cicadas are winning a jet draws a white line above the fields buzzing with everything living. a lazy breeze is tugging on the power lines and apple trees. PRE-CHORUS CHORUS I was born in a hot green valley the kind of valley where apples grow from the hillsides of Adams County to where the highway cuts below and I met a man from out of town who told me that I couldn’t know well maybe I didn’t know but now I know. and the sun sinks out of sight we bounce down long gravel drives park the car and walk among eruptions of fireflies. PRE-CHORUS PRE-CHORUS CHORUS

credits

released August 27, 2011

all bass by Zak Croxall
drums on tracks 1, 2, 3, 4, and 8 by Tom Hartman
drums on tracks 5, 6, 7, 9, and 11 by Bob Edinger

all words and music by Preston Hull (ASCAP)

produced by Preston Hull
drums and bass recorded at Cybersound, Boston by Rob Whitaker
mastered by Bernie Grundman
layout and photography by Madeline Birkner

a sincere thank-you to all of the above and to the following: Chris, Dan, Jonathan at BGM, Kirsten, Lizzie, Perry at Cybersound, Pete, Robin, the Songwriting faculty at Berklee College of Music, anyone who planted a seed for these songs, and my family.

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Preston Hull Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania native Preston Hull is one of Philadelphia's most versatile songwriters. His most recent album, "Man Up," ventures from alt-rock to alt-country, pop-punk to piano ballads.

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